The Rejection Decision

The R Word

Rejection—the big disappointment. Everyone goes through many of these in life. Remember the Emotions Scale discussed in Keep Your Eye on the Prize and Hold On To Your Hat? The big challenge of rejection is to ‘re-boot,’ which means pulling out of the -10 area on the Emotions Scale (shame, guilt, depression, high anxiety) while refraining from acting out any feelings of anger and revenge directed toward others, like counselors and admissions officers. It also means accepting this new reality, overcoming fear of the unknown, and looking to the future with optimism and courage. You have the rest of life’s game to play; ‘give it all you got!’ Here is wisdom from Coach Paul “Bear” Bryant, the University of Alabama’s “winningness” coach in the school’s history: ‘Don’t give up at halftime. Concentrate on winning the second half.’

Accepting with Class

Accepting with Class

If, after all of the work and waiting, an affirmative decision arrives, congratulations!  Enjoy this moment to the fullest but be mindful of how you respond to others who may have gotten disappointing news. Here is your moment to be a “class act”—to show restraint when you are feeling +10 on the Emotions Scale. Remember the boomerang of karma; what you send out may return to you, so tread softly and be grateful. 

Some students who get more than one acceptance get caught up in the attention and have trouble accepting only one offer and declining the rest. For these students, the acceptances are trophies. This is a dangerous play. If the colleges find out about this (and they often do), they will not only revoke your admission, but also, if they know them, notify the other colleges involved and you will lose them all. Tip:

Welcome to Dear Dr. Barbara

Hello!  I am Dr. Barbara Long and have created this blog to help young people (and their concerned parents) handle the emotional journey of the "transition years" from high school through college and their 20's. There are so many challenges of this time of life-- applying to college, adjusting to college life, and moving on to career and life beyond. In this blog, I will offer encouragement and strategies for handling the emotions of each stage. I invite you to ask any questions or initiate discussions about these and other topics of interest to you. Please feel free to email me at barbaralongmdphd (at) gmail (dot) com or leave a comment below.

I have written two books for young people. Check them out! The first is Keep Your Eye On The Prize! - A Young Person's Guidebook To Adulthood. This book contains the essential emotional tools young people need to live a great life. The second book, Hold On To Your Hat! - Handling the Roller Coaster Emotions of the College Application Process describes the five emotional stages of the process and teaches students and families the skills they need to hand the stress with resilience and calm. 

So, write me, let me know what your concerns, stresses, anxieties and interests are! And, look for more coming from me.