The Rejection Decision

The R Word

Rejection—the big disappointment. Everyone goes through many of these in life. Remember the Emotions Scale discussed in Keep Your Eye on the Prize and Hold On To Your Hat? The big challenge of rejection is to ‘re-boot,’ which means pulling out of the -10 area on the Emotions Scale (shame, guilt, depression, high anxiety) while refraining from acting out any feelings of anger and revenge directed toward others, like counselors and admissions officers. It also means accepting this new reality, overcoming fear of the unknown, and looking to the future with optimism and courage. You have the rest of life’s game to play; ‘give it all you got!’ Here is wisdom from Coach Paul “Bear” Bryant, the University of Alabama’s “winningness” coach in the school’s history: ‘Don’t give up at halftime. Concentrate on winning the second half.’

Accepting with Class

Accepting with Class

If, after all of the work and waiting, an affirmative decision arrives, congratulations!  Enjoy this moment to the fullest but be mindful of how you respond to others who may have gotten disappointing news. Here is your moment to be a “class act”—to show restraint when you are feeling +10 on the Emotions Scale. Remember the boomerang of karma; what you send out may return to you, so tread softly and be grateful. 

Some students who get more than one acceptance get caught up in the attention and have trouble accepting only one offer and declining the rest. For these students, the acceptances are trophies. This is a dangerous play. If the colleges find out about this (and they often do), they will not only revoke your admission, but also, if they know them, notify the other colleges involved and you will lose them all. Tip:

Waiting For The College Decision

Waiting

You have applied to college and are waiting for decisions. Especially if you have your heart set on a dream school, it is hard not to be overwhelmed with feelings of fear and dread. How can you manage the fear so it does not destroy your peace of mind? If you have read Hold On To Your Hat! you will have already applied to some great "comfort schools" that have favorable admission rates for students with your credentials, so as you await the news, stay calm and optimistic and remember that:
1. There are many roads to a happy life, not just one.  Winston Churchill said, "Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference."
2. Whether the dream school or not, embrace and enjoy the college that you ultimately attend! Like Randy Pausch said in his Last Lecture (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo), "It's not about the cards you're dealt but how you play the hand."
3. If the outcome is negative, don't take it personally, take it in stride.  Remember Grandpa Parker: "You never know your luck!"