Holistic Health-- the 4 Compass Points: Mental

The Mental compass point concerns the intellectual tasks of life—school and, ultimately, our life’s work, whether paid, unpaid, or a combination of both. Developing this part of ourselves is one of the two great challenges of adult life— to love and to work. Strive to do your best in school, and when you do take a job, do it to the best of your ability. Learn to be a reliable employee with a “can-do” attitude. Stay with it and don’t impulsively quit without a good reason, such as education or a new job that can enhance your career. If your current job is not the best fit or is not what you ultimately want to do, you are learning commitment and gaining valuable experience while you work on your career plan. Here are some tips:

1. If you are in school and not enjoying a course of study, talk with your advisor and consider making a change.

2. If you are working and don’t like your job, think about what the problem might be. Does the job not suit your personality, interests, or abilities? Is the work environment or schedule stressful? Do you feel inadequate to the task and need more training or education? Are your coworkers or bosses difficult or the circumstances (like a long commute) aggravating? Weigh the pluses and minuses. If this job is the best option for now and you cannot easily change it, try to change your attitude. Difficulties teach us a lot about ourselves, and learning to manage problems helps us to grow. Here is an example of a young man who could not change the circumstances of his job, so he changed himself. 

Desmond had an hour and a half commute in traffic each way to his internship. He found himself becoming progressively angrier and more frustrated with this waste of time until he realized that he had to come to grips with the situation. He could not change things, so he thought of ways to adapt. He listened to music, audio books, or used the time to think about problems and life in general. Soon, the dreaded commute became his special alone time.

3. Every career and job has its ups and downs. Emphasize the strong points and try not to dwell on the deficiencies. Before you quit, have a practical plan in mind to improve your career situation or get some career counseling.  

4. If you are not quitting in order to return to school, don’t quit without having secured a new job. Try not to be someone who changes jobs frequently, as such a pattern often raises red flags in the minds of future employers. 

5. If you make a mistake, it’s not the end of the world!  You have just “bought some experience.”  You can course correct. 

6. If the only rub is money, ask yourself some hard questions. Are your expectations realistic and fair? Are you making enough to live? Can your employer afford to pay you more? Does this job reward you in other ways that you would lose if you left— like friends or a career that is, by its nature, helpful to others? 

7. Some people get caught up in a money-driven “rat race” and can’t seem to get out of it.  Are you? This is a slippery slope, with major implications for your mental and physical health, relationships, and your soul. Read about the Money Shadow in my book, Keep Your Eye on the Prize! (www.keepyoureyeontheprize.org). We will also discuss it in a later blog.

Holistic Health-- Physical Compass Point: Soul Food

When we discussed the Physical Compass Point, we talked about the importance of caring for our bodies each day. At the most basic level, this involves food. Food sustains our lives, but it can also connect deeply to our souls and become part of our individual and cultural identities and values. It can be interesting and enlarging to try foods from different regions, such as Asia, India, Africa, Greece, Italy, Sweden, and Mexico, and within our own country, to sample recipes using local ingredients: Southern grits, California granola and fresh fruit, New England clam chowder and Indian pudding, and Minnesota wild rice, as well as beverages like German beers, English tea, and French wines. Many families pass down recipes from one generation to the next, and friends who exchange recipes are sharing something of themselves in the process. Such “pass along recipes” can establish close family and friendship bonds and sustain us in stressful times. Past occasions that featured the special recipes become personal life stories that are meaningful to share. Before she passed away at 94, my mother wanted collard greens and ham hocks and barbecue, special fare during the Great Depression, and my father, a native of South Alabama, liked nothing better than to visit with me over gumbo or oysters on the half shell in the French Quarter. Growing up in the country, he enjoyed cooking “soul food” throughout his life. I have served his sweet potato soufflé, corn bread, and gumbo with friends from everywhere. These compliment my own special memories of French Market freshly roasted coffee and chicory served au lait with powdered beignets in the French Quarter. Do you have special recipes? Write them down, along with the stories and memories that go along with them. You may be compiling an important story of your life, your family, and friendships. Even more, you may learn something important about the values you cherish. Like churches who use bread and wine as spiritual nourishment, your own special “comfort” foods can sustain your body and soul. 

A Valentine's Card for You!

Valentine’s Day is upon us. Are you down in the dumps with relationship troubles and find yourself vegging out and over-eating as a means of self-comfort? Do Valentine's Day your own way by getting out of this cycle using these strategies to nurture your 4 Compass Points from my book www.keepyoureyeontheprize.org:

Physical:

1. Get exercise, whether working out at the gym or walking in a safe mall or other enclosed area. Exercise has proven antidepressant effects.

2. Increase protein, decrease carbohydrates, which can leave you hungrier than you were before. Food nourishes our souls as well as our bodies, and the next blog will talk more about this connection. If you don’t enjoy foods that are non-starch and non-sugar, now is the time to explore new options. Look to Asian, Indian, Mexican, Cajun, or other ethnic recipes for delicious dishes that will enliven your senses but won’t sabotage your weight. Enjoy them with music and a friend for maximum pleasure.

Emotional:

Call a friend or get together for a walk or coffee if you can. Being alone can make things worse emotionally.

Mental:

1. Do you have hobbies that you enjoy? Focus on them for mental distraction and emotional sustenance. If not, explore some possibilities.

2. Mentally people often “go behind enemy lines” obsessively punishing themselves for situations they did not cause and cannot control. If this rings a bell, teach yourself the three C’s:

• I didn’t Cause it.

• I can’t Control it.

• I can’t Change it.

Spiritual:

No one has control in life. This is why we need a strong spiritual core to sustain us. Turn problems over to your Higher Power every day, and you will be comforted, and seek companionship of those who believe as you do. See the lesson on the Spiritual Quadrant.